As I started to explore what oder actually means for gay men I’ve heard from a couple of guys freaking out about turning thirty. Wow! Since when is thirty old? From my perspective sixty, which is approaching quickly, doesn’t seem so old. So, what is old for a gay man and how we can feel better about the aging process.
How you see yourself is critical
It’s been interesting to observe my circle of friends as many of us have moved into our fifties and sixties. What strikes me most is how differently people age. Some seem much older than me despite being significantly younger. I admire ongoing passion in men who are redefining what old is for a gay man.
It all comes down to how we see ourselves. Getting stuck on the changes in the mirror has negative impacts. Resisting the inevitable creates emotional pain. If physical limitations happen, they must be dealt with. But, they shouldn’t stop us completely. Focusing on enjoying life as much as possible keeps us healthy, and vibrant, as we grow older. Self-concept is the primary factor influencing how much we enjoy life as we age.
Physical Changes are Inevitable
We can’t deny physical changes. If we are to remain healthy we have to respect the limits that come with the process. I’ve been running since high school. My running days may well be over in a few years. I could simply give up and say “What does it matter at my age? Why start something new?” Instead, I’m exploring options for keeping fit if I can’t run. I value the benefits that exercise brings to my life. Physical changes, even very challenging ones, won’t limit your life unless you let them. People can thrive in the most difficult of circumstances. It’s your ideas about your limitations, and what they mean, that stop you.
We're All Getting Older
Whatever age you’re approaching it’s important to recognize that men of all ages struggle with similar issues. Our culture over-emphasizes the importance of youth and beauty. But, the vast majority of men, regardless of their age, do not look like movie stars, or have the bodies, and dicks, of porn stars. The rare one’s among us who do meet the ideals sometimes base their entire self-worth on their looks. They suffer even more than the rest of us as they age and lose that superficial attractiveness.
Even for Gay Men Old is a State of Mind
As cliched as it may be, age is just a state of mind, but it implies a deeper truth. If you’re struggling with getting older it’s likely the real problem is not your age, but how you see yourself. Shifting that perception is possible. It takes focus, a willingness to let go of your assumptions and push through comfort zones. But, you can do it.
I’d love to help you explore your unique path out of limitation and into a vibrant, happy, and healthy life. If you’d like to explore with me then click the button below to sign up for your free consultation. We can explore the roots of your issues and start to discover what a new approach to life would look like for you.